Defcon Four

 

" We did warn you"! - NBBD Team (1100 hrs :07-01-2026)

DEFCON FOUR

New Year 2026 and heightened level of threat.

 

 

Here at 'nbbd' HQ in Lowestoft our team is braced for a difficult year, in 2026, with heightened threat levels from swans now being experienced on all inland waterways.

 We have officially gone 'mute' as we move to 'Defcon 3'.

Naughty and Nice Lists 2025

 

It is always a good strategy to stay on this swan's 'nice list' and avoid the 'naughty list' at all cost. You really don't want to be on the 'naughty list'. You really don't! 

"A very Merry Christmas to friends of this blog all over our amazing world" - Ed

Those Tudors loved a Swan

Mystery Photo.

Imagine our amazement when a plain brown paper envelope was slipped under the office door of the Editor of NBBD. The team gathered around whilst the envelope was opened.

Inside, was the above photograph and nothing else. No covering note, name or legend!

On the back was just one word made from  cut-out letters from the Waveney Gazette stuck haphazardly with Pritt.

The one word - "NONCE" .

What could it possibly mean? The team remains mute.

.

Bill by Mouth

 

" The NBbD Team were delighted to receive this interesting swan themed photograph from Lulu, one of our regulars, in Didcot. 

When one considers the skill that went into creating these wonderful and lifelike sculptures 'blown by mouth, you cannot be other than impressed'. The length of training required, to ensure that the artist does not suck instead of blow, is an industry secret. 

After considerable discussion amongst the team, we came to the collective view that 'blowing' so many swans takes dedication, skill and raw courage in the greater Didcot area" - Editor of NBbD.

Skin Art

 

"Bold"  - Editor NBbD.

Old School kit, once commonly found in the trouser pockets of prudent ramblers." Be prepared"

 

Old School multi- function pen-knife 

Contemporary 'shocking' image gleaned from the internet,
 showing a swan callously inserting its beak into a male forehead,
all whilst the innocent couple were distracted by love.

" It is a well acknowledged fact that the British population has an ageing demographic and consequently the UK media has become both backward looking and nostalgic. Well, whether you believe " there is no fool like an old fool" or " things can only get better", who doesn't remember and miss the old school multi-function pocket or pen-knife (much like kNorwich with a silent k)? 

The first of the above images shows just such a knife from an authenticated museum collection. The intended use for the extended spike has been the subject of lengthy curatorial dispute. One camp has argued that the spike was used primarily for 'removing stones from horses hooves' another has suggested that the spike was used, from before Nelson's time, for separating fibres in hemp ropes or 'sheets'. 

However, after some heated discussion amongst the members of the 'editorial team', an exhaustive search through relevant notes from the archive written by the late Joe Roberts on old betting slips, and a quick phone call to Bill Oddie, general consensus is, that the spike was extensively used for humanely removing  'swan beaks' from human tissue. A cursory glance at the second image above demonstrates the occasional need and the complexity involved with making such a significant 'lakeside surgical intervention'. Clearly this swan encounter could have been so much worse, if the gentleman concerned, had turned his back on it! 

They are 'nice birds but dangerous' and the prudent lake-goer is well advised to search antique shops and if lucky acquire such a useful device from years gone by" - the Editor of NBBD.