International Swan Observance Day March 03 2025

 

" Every year at 3.00pm  on the third day of the third month, the 'nbbd' team  like to encourage all our devoted readers to enjoy one minute of silent contemplation, in which we collectively remember all the many things associated with 'Swans', be they Mute , Hooper or otherwise. The third of March is also the birthday of  the late Joe Roberts, and silence is probably what, along with 'a light ale' and 'five £1 cross-win-doubles with tax', he would have wanted on this day.

This year we have posted an 'AI created image' of what the inside of a Wickes DIY store (aka - Wixies) might look like if Swans took up residence within the body of the shop between a multiplicity of  aisles full of 'building craft' related paraphernalia and merchandise. 'Nice Birds Indeed!

Now, this may seem to you as an unlikely scenario, but bearing in mind Joe's sagacious and often quoted words " You can get anything from Wixies", not as improbable as a troop of monkeys equipped with typewriters locked in a room, replicating the 'Works of Shakespeare' in a timely fashion.

It is of some sadness that Joe did not live long enough to experience the wonders of 'artificial intelligence', particularly as everyone, who knew him emotionally, believes he would have derived benefit from it. 

Joe, the man and 'Sidcup-based printer', remains the subject of respect and legend in the overlapping worlds of 'Type-setting', 'Swan Observation' and 'Facilities for disabled persons at Race Courses located within the boundaries of the United Kingdom but excluding Northern Ireland'. - Happy Birthday Joe, and wherever you are, keep a watchful eye open for swans!

 - Editor of Nice Birds but Dangerous.

NICE in every possible way!

Victorian Swans and the great divide.

 

" Say what you like about 'The Victorians' but they certainly knew how to stuff Cygnus olor!

 This family group were happily surveying the tranquil lake scene before them, when they were rudely introduced to the pseudo art and science of 'taxidermy'. They clearly don't like it 'up-'em' Mr Mantell!

"There is considerable current academic debate as to whether the Victorian Era and the coincident development of 'Taxidermy' marks the paleozoological divide between swans being one hundred percent 'Nice birds' and being at least 50 percent 'Dangerous'". - Discuss!

"Is 'evolution' a gradual or a 'cataclysmic process'"? - Discuss!

"Did God make those little green apples" ? - Discuss!

Hard to say, but from the limited perspective of these swans - "Two pounds of kapok rammed up the 'cloaca' certainly created a tsunami of ripples on their shared and previously benign swan lake" - Richard Owen 1804-1892

The Year of the Swan - East of Bromley

 

"In Chinese culture, swans are considered to be a symbol of grace, purity, enlightenment, and blessing. They are also associated with the goddess Guanyin. The Chinese Zodiac has twelve animals, that are associated with years in the calendar, none of them being a swan. 2025 is 'The Year of the Snake' -  worldwide quite appropriate as it turns out! 

In Joe Roberts' home town Maidstone, 2025 is being arbitrarily celebrated by both 'Men of Kent' and 'Kentish Men' as 'The Year of the Swan'. Consequently, big parties are anticipated for this spring's 'International Swan Day', which is held every year on the 3rd of March. In 2025, the streets of Maidstone may indeed run with 'Light Ale'!

The  above image is a reproduction of a traditional local pictorial rendition in watercolour on a discarded Joe Coral betting slip of 'The River Medway in flood', which at one time hung in a Chinese Takeaway in Week Street. The building shown on the island, is a 'stylistic and graphical' representation of the Maidstone Branch of Wickes about which Joe was often heard to say "You can get anything from Wixies"! - Editor

Editorial note: None of the editorial team knows why Joe insisted upon pronouncing 'Wickes' as 'Wixies'. The man was and is, both an enigma and Kentish legend!

Lashings of Light Ale

 

"At this time of year, the Editorial Team at ‘Nice Birds but Dangerous’ look to compile material for the Christmas blog post. For inspiration, we often peruse our archival collection of the thoughts and teachings of Joe (Swan fearing) Roberts.

This year instead, we went through the copious store of artefacts he left behind after his untimely death in 2001.

All of our regular readers and swan aficionados worldwide, will know that Joe was ‘no stranger’ to the benefits offered by the occasional Light Ale but few will appreciate that his absolute favourite amongst the ‘Pale’ libations was ‘Courage Light Ale’ circa 1970.

What the editorial team only discovered this week was that Joe had been involved with the development of ‘marketing material’ designed by the company to rival the Guinness Toucan balancing a pint of stout on its bill. Joe, never averse to putting himself forward and thus into the limelight, came up with the catchy strap-line “It’s what Joe would have wanted”. When we found in Joe’s belongings, the above ‘printers proof’ for the pilot advertisement, it all became clear. Sadly, the campaign was abandoned peremptorily, due to fears articulated by the RSPB, that it might promote under-age binge drinking, particularly amongst cygnets, and generally in the close vicinity of lakes and other inland waterways. We shall however, never really know!

We at ‘NBbD’ wish all our blog readers and contributors a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

However, we like to emphasise each and every year, how dangerous cold and hungry swans can be during Winter Solstice. And yet every year there are unfortunate and avoidable swan related events resulting from rash actions and thoughtless behaviours!

TAKING SMALL CHILDREN TO FEED THE SWANS ON BOXING DAY IS COMPLETELY WRONG AND TOTALLY IRRESPONSIBLE!!

Even feeding swans with bread can have unforeseen circumstances. They may be nice birds but they can be dangerous!" - Ed.

The Renaissance Bird in Perspective

 

'Boy bitten by a Swan' Fred Caravaggio second Cousin of the Master.

" As today is the 75th Birthday of George (thinks a lot of himself) Roberts, only son of the late  Joe (Light Ale) Roberts, the editorial staff thought it was only fitting to mark the day with the posting of a renowned 'swan themed' art work.

Joe was often heard to remark that George was "a bit artistic and light on his feet" an expression he borrowed from the renowned 1960's theatre critic 'Kenneth Tynan'. Much like many of Joe's expressions, we are not fully sure what he meant by this but assume it was well intentioned!

Fred Caravaggio is not as famous as his relative but was renowned for his use of 'heightened perspective' to provide 'drama' in his work. The rendition of the swan's beak in this work (lower right) is a fine example of his Renaissance avian based angst. 

"Whatever else you can say about Fred Caravaggio, he knew a lot about swans, he loved a glass or two of light ale and you could leave him safely in a room with kiddies" - Joe Roberts.

'A Happy Birthday' to George and all other swan aficionados who share the 28th of November for the day of their birth" - Ed 

Mutation

 

Is it a swan or is it a vegetable? This has split the 'Editorial Team at 'Nice Birds but Dangerous' - aka 'The NBBD' . 

Some of the younger and swan inexperienced team members said "aberrant vegetable" but my own more 'trubblin' guess is that an innocent courgette literally got  a 'Cob on'. If I am correct, Joe's wise words " Never turn your back on a swan" would also apply to vegetables!  

Have swans managed to breach the animal vegetable divide? 

Where will this all end - either in a lake or a lasagne?  

'Trubblin' indeed! - Ed.

Many thanks to Tony Lavage of Bassingbourn for sending in this intriguing photograph of a 'swan-squash' hybrid, which he found quite unexpectedly in amongst the legumes.

Just saying

 

Image credit Microsoft Co-pilot

"We did say they were dangerous!" - Editorial Team