The Terrifying Beak of Cyril

"Many thanks to Paul and Kevin of Bungay for sending the editorial team at NBBD this truly 'trubblin' nee 'alarmin' screenshot image of Cyril. Apparently this bastard turns up at cricket matches and 'kicks off'! What a tosser !

Look at the size of that bloody beak! You couldn't hide that behind a 'Nonce Mask'!

I am getting worried that Swans may have thrown their collective feathered support behind Nigel the Coot 🦆 in his own personal quest to hog the breadcrumbs and pursue a popularist program in banning all avian migration into the UK. There is no doubting Nigel is a greedy opportunistic and well feathered bastard🦆!

Of course we may be witnessing a short term movement of 'swans' to the 'dark side'🦆 occasioned by the recent drought.  Let's hope so and that traditional British rain, often associated  with cricket, brings a return to better avian behaviour 🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢!

 If swans have bern permanently reformed then the Team here at NBBD may have to review the 'Nice' bit! 😱

We all may only travel hopefully whilst remaining ever alert when carrying a bag of breadcrumbs in close proximity to inland bodies of water". The editor of NBBD.

Have Swans gone 'Nonce'

 

"The NBBD editorial team would like to thank Rachel from Southend and Paul from Norwich for sending us the above 'trubblin' images of our 'feathered friends incarnate'. Without the vigilance of NBBD readers these remarkable and disturbing swan related tableaux would go unrecorded. 

It is interesting to note that 'the nice bird but dangerous' has finally infiltrated 'the world of art and fashion'. Just a hint of 'cross dressing', which may give those with public toilet gender issues, a moment for self reflection.

More concerning is the second image captured on the beach at Lyme Regis. Have swans gone 'Nonce'?" The Editor of NBBD.

Is there more to a swan than meets the eye?

 

Today, the ' nice birds but dangerous ' team was on a management 'away-day' based at the Brown Boat Suite Oulton Broad. Amongst a flotilla of Hooper swans, one of our team spotted this rare 'mutation' known locally as 'The Submariner". Those brave enough to get close enough, swear that they could hear it muttering "Put another fish up the pipe number one".  They may be nice but they can certainly be dangerous when 'running silent running deep' - Editor of 'nbbd'.

Serene

 

"Serene my arse!"

Just when you thought it was safe to go out. Oulton Broad on a warm and sunny afternoon. Suddenly and stealthily they appeared in the shallows. Crumbs!

The Lake of Swans -" If you make it he will come"

 

The inherent 'soul healing nature' of 'a Lake of Swans' is often overlooked by the average bird fancier and occasional visitor to the fresh water waterways of our 'green and sceptred isle'. 

Unresolved relationships can be repaired and built in quiet waterside moments reflecting upon the 'niceness' of these 'dangerous' birds. In Kevin Costner's immortal words " If you make it he will come" .

Editor of NBBD - June 2026

Pity the swan overwhelmed by heat

 

"One cannot help but feel concerned for swans during this unprecedented heat wave, which is affecting wildlife across the United Kingdom.

The above photo was taken near the Brown Boat Suite, Oulton Broad by JP of Pakefield and shows a swan actually 'melting'. 

Although they are even more dangerous when transitioning between solid and liquid states, we must not forget they are 'nice birds' and should be provided with appropriate support and kindness" Steve Dongle - Patron of  the charity "Keep Swans Cool"

International Swan Day 03-03-2026

 

" Everyone at 'SNBBD' is excited, as tomorrow will be 'International Swan Day' once again.  As all good 'Swan Fearing People' will appreciate, the 3rd of March is the Birthday of the late Joe Roberts, a man who forgot more about swans than anyone normal might rightly know.

We like to think that many people in Maidstone and Sidcup and those known to frequent Joe Coral Betting Shops on a regular basis, will tomorrow, raise a glass of 'bleedin' Light Ale in his memory.

Looking through Joe's extensive archive, we came across references to the wonderful 'Curry'  Joe was known to enjoy 'back in the day' at 'Jock's Cafe' in Sidcup. Apparently, Jock's 'Haggis Vindaloo', which was only available on Burns' Night, was a complete revelation and an extraordinary laxative!

It is 25 years since Joe died and we at 'SNBBD' like to think that he has gone to a better place, a celestial version of Wickes, (Wixies) and is happily spending eternity as well as Saturdays, in the company of 'Beryl from Sidcup'. Joe's' wife's name was Edna (aka 'Nurse Diesel') apparently she was "bleedin mad".

We decided to post this a day early, to enable those who fancy to celebrate with a Swan themed curry, to 'order in' or prepare for the feast. Many of the team, remember the Vesta Prawn Curry, which was deemed 'exotic' back in the 1960s. Few could recall the 'Vesta Swan Balti' but we did find the above photo in Joe's archive.  So he clearly loved 'curry' as well as 'kiddies' and facilities for wheelchair users at UK racecourses, all in a thoroughly nice way.

Happy Birthday Joe!💙🏇🏇 and a Happy International Swan Day to Chris Packham, Sir David and all Swan Fearers Worldwide.