Swan V Cassowary

 

The Australian Cassowary V The Swan.

" As Editor of Nice Birds But Dangerous, I am often asked 'precisely how dangerous is the swan?". This is of course is a very difficult question to answer. Even the late 'swan fearing' Joe Roberts was ambivalent in this matter. 

Clearly, there is a 'continuum of hard' that starts with 'nails' and ends with 'Chuck Norris'. Where the swan features in this continuum is definitely above my pay grade to determine!

As a gold standard in 'avian 'ard' the Australian cassowary stands out as a bit of a feathered bastard. My thoughts were to ask Google Gemini for its view, regarding a hypothetical featherweight fight between a swan and cassowary and in particular,which was likely to win.

The following is its surprising response:

"While swans have a reputation for aggressive behavior and can deliver a painful slap with their wings, they are completely outmatched in weight, weaponry, and physical power by what is widely considered the world's most dangerous bird, the cassowary".

They came out of the mist.

 

" This 'trubblin' squadron of swans" was photographed coming out of the mist near Maidstone.

It's Spivey Point all over again, 'mob-webbed' and swan style! 

They are just waiting for us to drop our guard!"

Editor NBBD.

Are swans ubiquitous?

 

" Thanks to three generations of  a 'Swan fearing family" for sending the editorial team these 'trubblin' photos.  Clearly, the feathered bastards have now got their own 'merchandise' (merch).

"This like AI, will not end well!" A belated echo from Joe Swans Roberts.

Bakewell Swans

 

" Many thanks to 'ever alert' Tabby from Essex for sending this 'trubblin' image of a  Bakewell Swan moving into 'attack mode'. Whether in fact, Swans do Bakewell, is probably only known to the British Royal Family, who have a swan cuisine track record maintained over centuries. Apparently, on his last visit, the President of the United States was given 'Swan a l'orange' at the state banquet".!  -Editor of NBBD.

Swans in Space

 

The Swan Nebula

" The little buggers are everywhere, including off world environments. In space you cannot hear a mute swan scream!

Many thanks from the NBBD team go to Kurt Thrust who sent this 'trubblin' image to us" - The Editor of NBBD.

The Terrifying Beak of Cyril

"Many thanks to Paul and Kevin of Bungay for sending the editorial team at NBBD this truly 'trubblin' nee 'alarmin' screenshot image of Cyril. Apparently this bastard turns up at cricket matches and 'kicks off'! What a tosser !

Look at the size of that bloody beak! You couldn't hide that behind a 'Nonce Mask'!

I am getting worried that Swans may have thrown their collective feathered support behind Nigel the Coot 🦆 in his own personal quest to hog the breadcrumbs and pursue a popularist program in banning all avian migration into the UK. There is no doubting Nigel is a greedy opportunistic and well feathered bastard🦆!

Of course we may be witnessing a short term movement of 'swans' to the 'dark side'🦆 occasioned by the recent drought.  Let's hope so and that traditional British rain, often associated  with cricket, brings a return to better avian behaviour 🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢!

 If swans have bern permanently reformed then the Team here at NBBD may have to review the 'Nice' bit! 😱

We all may only travel hopefully whilst remaining ever alert when carrying a bag of breadcrumbs in close proximity to inland bodies of water". The editor of NBBD.

Have Swans gone 'Nonce'

 

"The NBBD editorial team would like to thank Rachel from Southend and Paul from Norwich for sending us the above 'trubblin' images of our 'feathered friends incarnate'. Without the vigilance of NBBD readers these remarkable and disturbing swan related tableaux would go unrecorded. 

It is interesting to note that 'the nice bird but dangerous' has finally infiltrated 'the world of art and fashion'. Just a hint of 'cross dressing', which may give those with public toilet gender issues, a moment for self reflection.

More concerning is the second image captured on the beach at Lyme Regis. Have swans gone 'Nonce'?" The Editor of NBBD.