The Swan in Fashion

" The team here at 'Swan Central' would like to thank the 'Cat' for sending us this swan related fabric photograph. We are reliably informed that on the back of this dress one of the motifs actually shows a swan breaking a man's arm. The image is so shocking that whilst being worn, the above 'innocent child' has been asked to keep her back turned from any vulnerable persons that have pre-existing medical conditions."

"We are truly humbled by the bravery exhibited by those of all ages that choose to place their own life in danger in order to keep the general 'swan naive' public informed of potential hazards to life and limb"!

Bin Day Abduction

The buggers in Oulton Broad have gone feral and started raiding the bins in broad daylight. Have they no shame?

The Swan Disease

"Trump presents evidence before the World Health Organisation that laboratory based 'cross species transmission' first occured  in china".

On a more local theme may we send our thanks to 'JP' from Pakefield for drawing our attention to this informative 'swan safety' video.

https://youtu.be/0iowXqwPqI0?t=699 

Swan symbolism in Fauvism

'Fallen Swan with the floppy boobies' - Anon

'Nude' by George Rouault

We are very excited here at Swan Headquarters and would like to express our thanks to Lulu of Milton for sending us the image of the spectacular 'fauvre' painting 'Fallen Swan with the floppy boobies'. 

We have reason to believe this painting by an anonymous artist may be an undiscovered masterpiece by the painter George Rouault.  Note the similarities in use of colour, brush strokes and the shear 'bravura' of the work. The team here at Swan HQ were considering asking Bendor Grosvenor to undertake a provenance search but in the end we thought it best to let the painting speak for itself. 

Quack!

We can only wonder as to what 'Old Joe' would have made of it? Perhaps.....................................

"I don't know much about art but I know swans don't have Bristols" 

Brief Encounter

"Thanks to Lulu from Milton for sending us this frightening but short film sequence. Do not watch if you are of a nervous disposition or suffer from a chronic heart condition. You have been warned".

Government Health Warning - Swans can seriously damage your health.

"As of 18:00 hours GMT, the population of the United Kingdom is advised that no old, vulnerable or crumb carrying person should go within 2 metres of a mute swan. All waterways will be locked down in England and loched down in Scotland for at least 12 weeks" said Doris Swanson (Government spokesperson)

Many thanks to Mrs Trellis of North Wales for sending us this scary photograph taken in the Lake District last summer.

Outrage on Swan Observance Day

"Swan hijacks two police officers and a police car in daring daylight caper"

Thanks  to 'Big Willie' from Chalkwell for sending us this chilling photograph from the Basildon, Canvey and Southend Echo. Have swans no shame? This mute bastard didn't even bother to wear a mask!

Happy Birthday Joe wherever you are!