A rare photograph of 'eco warrior' Steve Dongle turning his back on a miffed swan in Lowestoft today. Friend of this blog, 'Tooters' Roberts, sent this troubling image to the editorial board. Steve is a trained and experienced person and is obviously wearing 'protective shorts' . He should however, know better than to encourage this sort of irresponsible behaviour in and around nice but dangerous birds. Don't try this at home kids !
In defence of these feathered miscreants, god knows what terrible diseases are endemic to our inland waterways. Post Brexit and after the consequent abolition of all that frustrating red tape holding back British enterprise, swans may now enjoy a robust diet of raw sewage and other high protein supplements. In our considered opinion this only goes to make the buggers even more dangerous!
We have to thank the ever vigilant Willy from Southend, who braved entry to this potential watery and contaminated concrete grave in the making, to capture this sinister and nightmare image. Keep your children and stale bread close because one day they may come for you!
Many thanks to Roy for sending the editorial team this relaxed photograph of swans 'allegedly' sleeping. They never sleep Roy, that's just what they want you to think!
"Not often seen together the Swan and the Penguin are pictured in this photograph demonstrating the mind boggling visual wonder of depth perception. The swan has made the cunning decision to encourage the much loved pied seabird to stand closer to the camera. The unwary bystander is easily convinced by this domestic feathered arrangement that the swan is much much smaller than it really is and that the two birds together represent no threat to health and safety. The swan is a nice but dangerous bird and little does the penguin know of the violent nature of the company it keeps!. Many thanks to the seasoned Essex based swan fancier who sent in this rare image". The Editorial Team
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This poor man is down on his luck and on the mean streets of London but, just like the cockney sparrow, he still remains cheerful even though he doesn't know where his next swan or book deal are coming from. Twelve hard years of Tory austerity are engrained upon his mute ashen face. This is a portrait of missed opportunities reminiscent of the unrepaired potholes that pock the abandoned ancient asphalt surface that is the A12.
In the words of Joe Roberts "It aint bleedin' right"!
It is truly hard and 'Bleak up North London'!
"The beauty that is a swan here magnified by its juxtaposition with nature's botanical wonder the 'air plant'. This beautiful arrangement was presented as a gift at Christmas and sitting as it does in this photograph by a 'tasteful' fountain that once graced the garden of the late Joe 'swan fearing' Roberts, it literally brings a tear to the eye. As a fan of this website you will recall that the third of March is not only International Swan Day but also the birthday of Joe Roberts. So all you 'swan fanciers' lift a glass of light ale to Joe and the most dangerous of birds because after all its the sneaky ones that get you!".
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| Long John Cygnet a truly terrifying buccaneer! |
