The Swan Tap a Celebration of British Culture

The Swan Tap - Kidderminster - noted for its 'cask conditioned ales and selected grills'

Thanks once again to Lulu from Milton for sending the above image of this slightly 'off-piste' public house sign. Interesting facts associated with the Swan Tap:

• Christine Keeler never worked here as a barmaid in the 1960s and 1970s 
• Does a proper 24/7 'Full English' featuring the patriotic 'British Sausage' - on a plate!
• Function room with integral 'Cross of St George bunting', available for wakes and other family celebrations.
• 'old the bells Fred! is written on the wall below the urinal cistern in the Gentlemen's Cloakroom.
• Casual racism, darts, misogyny and cribbage friendly.
• "Wonderful facilities for the disabled" - Joe Roberts.
• Its only - 'banter in a bun''  - chlorinated bar snacks are freely available during 'happy hour' when you purchase a British Pint. 
• All Premier League matches are shown on the largest plasma screen in Kidderminster.
• "It is medically impossible to catch Covid 19 on licensed premises whilst consuming alcohol ". - Boris the resident lounge bar Physician.
• No swans are allowed on the premises under any circumstances (unless accompanied by Mr Cummings).
• 'British Curry Night' every Thursday.

A worrying local mutation

Worried on lookers watched, as on Oulton Broad today, a mutant swan acquired cyborg outboard propulsion.

"The future safety of 'Brown Boat' patrons is uncertain if swans mutate to become  'Serene but devastatingly fast"! - said passerby  JP of Pakefield.

The Mute Territorial Army

Our womenfolk are no longer safe after Swans go all territorial at this well known East Anglian retreat for the older person who may or may not be socially distanced.

Who would have thought that a nice sedate afternoon walk could change so suddenly?

Who could have anticipated a 'Swan related incident' at a Bird Reserve?

What has the countryside come to?

It is never like this on 'Country File' !

" The smaller ones wearing 'grey camouflage' are the worst you cannot see them as easily as the white ones Irene"

"You haven't been baking this morning have you ? If they detect a whiff of bread we are both in a whole world of pain Anita"

In Broad Daylight

Thanks to the ever vigilant JP of Kessingland for sending the team this photo of  a 'brazen' daylight assembly of swans on Oulton Broad. What is their collective intent?

Swan Films,Grayson Perry and Alan Measles

Grayson Perry: Rites of Passage

" Who would have thought that Swans would pop up in this creative format"?

See more follow link:
https://www.channel4.com/programmes/grayson-perry-rites-of-passage/on-demand/64824-001 

Beware "a sudden blow" lest it break your arm or worse!

A sudden blow: the great wings beating still

Above the staggering girl, her thighs caressed

By the dark webs, her nape caught in his bill,

He holds her helpless breast upon his breast.

William Butler Yeats

" I don't know why but I keep thinking 'Bernie Clifton'

" Yet again, Lulu from Milton surprised the team with this artistic endeavour of classical proportions"!

History Shapes the Present and Informs the Future

The Swan in Fashion

" The team here at 'Swan Central' would like to thank the 'Cat' for sending us this swan related fabric photograph. We are reliably informed that on the back of this dress one of the motifs actually shows a swan breaking a man's arm. The image is so shocking that whilst being worn, the above 'innocent child' has been asked to keep her back turned from any vulnerable persons that have pre-existing medical conditions."

"We are truly humbled by the bravery exhibited by those of all ages that choose to place their own life in danger in order to keep the general 'swan naive' public informed of potential hazards to life and limb"!